My Kind Of Wallowing.

July 20, 2011 at 12:09 am (Uncategorized)


A few days before leaving home for medical college in another country, I asked my dad to drop me off to this mall in Dubai, early in the morning.

I asked him to drop me off there alone. He was like, why? I was like, because I feel like it. My mother said certainly not; that is the weirdest thing, ask her to take her older sister along. I refused, whilst my dad gives her the stern ‘leave her to her lunatic cravings, she’s growing up’. My mummy then persists in packing me lunch for the mall, earning a ‘are you for real? There’s a food court in the mall!’ by my dad, and us finally escaping.

Excerpts for the scene in the car with my dad:

Dad: Do you have credit on your mobile?

Me: No.

Dad: Are you stupid? What if you need to call me?!

Me: I was about to ask you to transfer me some.

Dad: Do you have money?

Me: No.

Dad: (Something along the lines of ‘what am I going to do with such Neanderthals as children’).

In the mall, the first thing I do is walk into all these stores (Forever 21, Accessorize- I know this is very materialistic but I am absolutely enthralled and in stark drool mode when I enter Accessorize; I have fantasies of buying the whole store, even the kids wear).

I then go to Carrefour, and buy a few things I usually need- Kinder chocos, orange juice, sparkling water, etc.

I leave to enter the food court, where I buy my favourite meal at Mc Donald’s (Big Tasty- upsized everything, being the glutton I am). I wanted to try Sugoi! but I’m usually a safe player, and leave all the risky fess for when I’m with other people (cheers to ditching what you didn’t like on the other person with you :P).

I take out Oliver Twist, and read. Bliss!

Away from people, and yet within a crowd. I didn’t even realize how fast time passed by, when my dad called me to come out. I even made a friend at the mall’s masjid. And going down the elevator to the car, I even managed to find the chatter of some high school kids amusing.

The deal is- whenever I go home and then need to come back for college, I dread the departure. Not just because I love my family and the place I grew up in, but also because I happen to hate my school and most of the people in it- to gall, and for a reason. When I’m depressed, I do weird things. A lot of people don’t find it weird to go out to malls alone, but I’m not used to going out without friends or family. It’s not what I normally do. I remember sleeping out in the lightening, thunder and rain at a certain period during med school. People have accused me of being psychotic. Who knows? Maybe I am a little psychotic. But these are my ways of wallowing- run away from me if you like. You may not have experienced intellectual and spiritual depravement, the way I did the time I came here!

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